Letters to My Kids

The One where I Never Steal a Cookie from the Cookie Jar


It’s that time again.
And I’m totally pumped.
Check out the whole “Not Me! Monday” gang over at My Charming Kids.
And now, won’t you please join me on a journey of brutal honesty on this bright sunny Monday?

I would never accept a challenge to memorize I Corinthians 1.
No! People who can memorize whole chapters of Scripture are crazy.
And I am certainly not crazy.
I would never think it appropriate (and only fair) to memorize the same verses I am challenging the teens to know.
That would be silly.
I am not actually try to be an example to them.
Nor would ever exuberantly tell of my accomplishments.
Because I’m not the least bit proud of what I did.
Nope, not me.
So I never would have spent 2 straight hours on Friday memorizing all of chapter 1 in I Cor.
And even if I did, I would not have been caught texting my husband every 30 minutes.
Updating him on my progress.
And I would never be so extremely excited for my accomplish that I would admit it to all of you.
Nope.

Never would I ever buy a VHS workout series.
From Goodwill.
Nope, not me.
I am far too classy to be seeing buying used exercise tapes.
Or to admit that I have a VHS player.
And I would never actually tell anyone that these tapes are called The Firm.
Cause that’s just ridiculous.
But I would tell you that these workouts definitely do something.
I have been feeling the burn from The Firm for 3 days now.
Ouch.

Speaking of firming up, you would not find a gluten-laden cookie in my hand. ever.
No!
I am fully aware of the consequences of eating the glorious food form known as the cookie.
And not just the fat forming consequences.
But the intestinal damaging consequences.
Thanks to my allergy.
Nope. I would never knowingly partake of something that I know will hurt me.
In more ways than one.
Never! And I certainly have not gotten caught red handed many many times this week.
*shrinks back in shame*

And of course I would never go into a Sunday School classroom with my head screwed on backwards.
Nope.
When I’m leading a class I am always always fully aware of my surroundings.
I would never allow lack of sleep or my foggy-allergy-ridden mind get the best of me.
Nope!
And even if I did, I wouldn’t let all of the students in my incompetence.

And I most certainly did not become an official AVON Independent Sales Representative on Saturday.
Nope, not me.
I would never make such a serious decision in a matter of hours.
And my husband would never eagerly encourage me to jump on board.
And I will never admit to being totally geeked about this endeavor.

You may have already noticed the permanent blog link to my AVON store.
It’s in the right column.
At the top.
And it’s official.
I am now an AVON Independent Sales Representative.
I am super pumped!
I have been around AVON since I was a little girl.
My mom has been a loyal customer for at least 30 years.
She still wears the jewelry bought in years past.
It’s good stuff.
In the past few months I have had various thoughts concerning a “fun employment” opportunity for myself.
AVON was one options that I considered for just a fleeting moment.
But on Saturday, at that parking lot flea market, I was convinced.
Convinced to seriously consider this endeavor.
You see, I don’t make hasty decisions. Ever.
Not even for fast food restaurant decisions.
I take at least 7.65 minutes deciding what to order at a restaurant whose menu never changes.

So I left the flea market equipped with new knowledge of this whole Avon Ind. Sales Rep. thing.
I told Kevin about it right away.
He was completely supportive.
And he was even willing to go back to the same flea market to speak with this “Avon Lady” with me.
We got more information.
And before I knew it, I was signed up!
You should check out my personal online AVON store!
I’ll keep a link on my blog if you need to refer to it.
And if you live fairly close by, let me know if you want a campaign catalog.
Can you tell I’m excited?
Cause I’m totally not.
Nope, not the least bit excited am I.

I am also totally excited about the monthly regional AVON meeting on Tuesday night too.
I’ll get all the information I so desperately need before I embark fully on this adventure.
I’m looking forward to the opportunity of connecting with other women in my area.
Outside of my church.
What a great ministry opportunity.
And having a great excuse to meet my neighbors!
God is in this, I can feel it.

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One thought on “The One where I Never Steal a Cookie from the Cookie Jar

  1. I have a Jane Fonda step aerobics tape that I refuse to throw out because it's my favorite of all time. Speaking of workouts . . . which JM video do you do? Is there only one? I'm going to be needing a strict work out regiment starting in a few weeks . . .

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