Letters to My Kids

The One with the Monday Confessions

Join me (& MckMama) in my quest for brutal honesty.
Or not.
You can just laugh.
Or shake your head.
Whichever.
I have perfected my culinary skills.
Therefore, I would never misread a recipe.
Especially one for simple “fantasy fudge.”
Nope, not me.
I read thoroughly and follow directions flawlessly every time.
I would never add an entire 12oz can of evaporated milk when the recipe calls for only 2/3 cup.
I would never assume I know what I’m doing.
And because I would never make such a large mistake, I would never find myself completely perplexed when the fudge wouldn’t set.
At room temperature (as called for in the directions).
Or in the refrigerator.
Or even in the freezer.
And even if all those things did happen, I would never take a spoon in dig in to the fudgy mess anyways.
But I hate to waste things.
Especially chocolate things.
You would never find me doing something as pointless as googling my name.
No! I never ever waste time.
And even if I did waste time googling my name, I would not be totally stoked if I found this website.
No, I find science and the work my husband does to be completely geeky and misunderstood.
So I would not be found instant messaging him this link informing him of the perfect melding of his worlds–me & science.
I most certainly did not overeat when dining at The Parlour.
(The Jackson restaurant that just so happens to have amazing food in addition their to-die-for ice cream sundaes and hard pack ice cream flavors.)
And never would I ever advocate that the teenagers under my care eat dessert before or in place of dinner.
Nope.
I would never be tempted by something as fattening as ice cream.
Nope, this frozen delight is certainly not my most favorite food group.
And even if I did show self control by not ordering a crazy sundae,
(which I happen to believe to be the wise choice because all those toppings taint the beautiful ice cream)
I would not each just 3 bites too many.
Nope. I would never be perfectly satisified with my Moosetracks and Chocolate Overload (eek!) that would I push my limits and end up with a stomach ache.
::the group–prior to the sugar overload::
::The group–totally excited about the massive amounts of ice cream::
::Brothers with their Hot Fudge Brownie Sundaes (aka “The Awful Awful”)::
::these two junior high girls powered through the 6 scoop Banana Split!::
And I am definitely not getting old.
For I would never agree with my husband that the second band performing on the plaza of SAU was just too loud.
Nope, I definitely not that lame.
And even if I happened to be that lame for just one night, I would never venture far from the front of the stage.
And the speakers.
And the crazed teenagers.
Nope, I’m totally not over that stage of life.
What about you?
Anything you would never admit to doing??
Yeah.
I figured it was just me.

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