Letters to My Kids

The One where She Never Cheats

Ahh, yes.
It’s Monday.
Oddly enough, my weeks are less stressful/busy than my weekends.
So I kind of look forward to Mondays.
Except that my husband isn’t home.
Cause I miss him.
But I get more stuff done when I’m alone.
So that’s a plus.
Stuff like admitting the truth about my perfect looking lifestyle.
Thank you, MckMama, for another “Not me! Monday”
I most certainly did not wait four hours after waking up to workout.
No, not me!
I start my day eagerly and efficiently.
Always.
It was definitely not this girl who got totally geeked out about going to the new Super Walmart.
No! I’m not at all a victim of this massive company that controls all suburban life.
And I would certainly not get excited over the opening of it’s “super sized” self.
Especially not since there was a “regular” Walmart across the street.
I would never expect that every Walmart in America be Super by now.
It would not be my fingers that are still tingling.
Nope. I’m not experiencing that numbing “your fingers fell asleep” feeling after 3 days of guitar “lessons.”
My fingers are strong and mighty and groomed for such instrumentation.
And because my fingers are NOT numb, I would not have been totally psyched to show Kevin what I learned.
Because I’m a professional musician.
Yep.
I would never get overly enthused over one accurate chord strumming.
It was definitely not me who threw herself into a tizzy on Saturday.
Simply because plans were not going as planned.
I would never complain over being forced into change.
Nope, “Flexible” is my middle name.
I would never encourage anyone to watch a show as inappropriate as Friends.
No, not me!
That sitcom is overflowing with innuendos and inappropriate relations.
Therefore, three things would not be true.
1. I would not admit that it is one of my favorite series of all time.
2. I definitely do not own the complete series–beautifully boxed in red.
3. I would never ever ever invite the early arriving teens to join us in watching an episode prior to youth group.
NEVER.
And because I am a perfect example at all times.
And because I never bend the rules.
I would never be found slipping through the rows of corn at a corn maze in an attempt to outsmart the maze.
Nope, I never cheat.
And I would never have to do such an awful thing while having “fun” in a corn maze.
And even if I did I would not admit to getting even more lost than before.
And ending up in the last group out.
Because I have an innate sense of direction that cannot be topped.
I could walk through that maze lickity split.
And you would never find my remains there months later.
Nope, not me!
::getting lost in a corn maze–spiritfire edition::
(this event marks our official 1st anniversary as youth leaders. what?!)

::let the fun begin::
(I would so never do this by myself. You would find my bones in the corn.)

::the great farm that owns the maze::
we were pleasantly surprised with it’s awesomeness. And just 5 minutes away!

::running in to other lost members of our group::

::the men consult the map::
(they are the only reason I’m not still in the corn.
Well, them and this 10 year old girl who was walking around with us and her map.)

::the crazy version::
(I’m pretty sure the fish face is my only crazy photo face.)


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2 thoughts on “The One where She Never Cheats

  1. I definitely went to a corn maze with my girlfriend and her little one, and we definitely got sooo lost we back tracked.Her three year old loved the corn box and the rides better anyway…and of course I "wasn't" secretly overjoyed. :)

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