Letters to My Kids

The One with the Frozen Face

MckMama is back with her own “not me” post.
I had to join the fun.
I don’t like being left out, you know.
I definitely did not freeze my face off last night at our youth group sledding adventure.
Nope, not me.
I’m always totally prepared for the conditions.
Which I why I would never look at my neck gator.
And then choose to leave it home.
It did not take fourteen (count ’em 14) months to get my toilet perfectly clean.*
Nope. The moment I moved in I had that baby up to snuff.
I was not grossed out at the notion of cleaning up other families’ muck.
Nah! I’ve worked on a campground cleaning staff.
I’ve handling a whole slew of messes I never thought I’d see.
So something in my own bathroom would certainly not go untouched.
And I certainly did not read a book series completely out of order.
Nope, not me.
I always research books before I borrow them from the library.
Therefore, I would never reach the end of a lovely novel by Karen Kingsbury.
And discover I had just read book one (Sunrise) of the third series in the “Baxter Family Drama.”
But at that point, I wouldn’t want to start over, 10 books back, hoping I would forget all the little secrets I now know.
And I would never admit to the high likelihood of actually forgetting said details.
Nope, not me. I have a memory like….
like my husband.
*Now, I must clarify this.
I really do clean our toilet each week.
But it’s that grimy caulking around the base of the cammode I was successfully ignoring.
Until today.
When I doned a pair of gloves.
Dumped bleach on some paper towels.
And went to town.
I’ve never been happier.
Or more disgusted.
adorkably yours,

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