I’m not gonna lie. This hasn’t been a shining week in our household. Shocker, we’re not perfect. Honestly, though, most of the issues have been rooted in my deep-down struggles–struggles I didn’t even know I was having. And when one person is dealing with personal trials, problems overflow onto your spouse. Am I right?
I was kicking and screaming the whole way to this place of openness and vulnerability, the place where wounds are exposed. It’s a painful place to be. But healing comes when you allow Jesus take you into his arms and place salve on those raw places that cause so much grief.
It is here I’ve come to recognize the truth–I’ve not been myself, the one God created me to be. I’m not sure how it started or exactly when. But it managed to get me to this point of total frustration. And I will deny it no longer.
Lead me to the cross where your love poured out. Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to you. Lord, lead me. The words of the song I spoke of on Monday have been resonating deep in my spirit. Did I really mean those words when I sang them Sunday night? Did I honestly want Jesus to lead me to the place of utter helplessness where forgiveness could rain down on my heart? Did I want to get rid of the ME in my life? really?
Finally I said, “Come, Lord Jesus.”
And He hastened to my side. He scooped me up in his arms and urged me to cry my tears in his presence so the healing could begin.
I encourage you to do the same today, as we remember the reason for His sacrifice.