About Me, Confessions, Husband

The One with the Decisions

Decision-making is not my forte. Sure, when it comes to group leading I can be the bossy one and just make a decision (!) because no one else will. But in personal matters, I need decisive decision improvements. 
I have McDonald’s menu memorized yet it still takes me an abnormally long time to order. 
If we’re ever at a fast-food place together, you’ll most likely hear me say, “You can go ahead of me. I’m not ready yet”–as if it’s some life-altering choice I’m making. 
 I’ve been trying hard to be decisive–especially for my husband’s sake. But I often find myself settling hard and fast, only to be met by differing opinions and other options, launching me into a tizzy. I try to explain to him that part of the reason I don’t like to voice my opinion (particularly as it relates to restaurant choices) is because when I actually say, “I would like to go to ……” I have thought through every angle and all possible outcomes and am wearing my heart on my sleeve. Thus, if others involved in this decision choose something different, I am frustrated, irritated, or even offended. Lame, I know. But this is why I’d rather be non-committal. It’s just easier sometimes. 
In the past month I have had to make some seriously important decisions. You know, the kind that can be life-altering. Do I apply for that job? Do I want to work full time? How involved do I want to be in this ministry or that? When do I say “no”? Shouldn’t I just suck it up, be a grown-up and work 40 hours a week like every other American? (gross generalization, I know. Sorry.) Do I want to teach piano? If so, will it be enough? Will I be enough? Should I take on that child care job? And where should we go for the holidays? (Yes, with the way our schedule fills up, it’s best to start planning this stuff early. Besides, would you expect anything different of me?) 
All that to say, I’m thankful for the many mornings I’ve poured all this out to my Lord and for his faithfulness to give me wisdom. 

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

James 1:5

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5 thoughts on “The One with the Decisions

  1. I probably could have written this post. Well, barring a few [minor] details. Thanks for posting this though! And the verse. I'll definitely be praying for you as you continue the job search [or, figure out what you want to: continue the job search or not]. Miss you bunches, my dear friend!

  2. I am exactly like you. I can't make a single decision without thinking everything through and being afraid of the outcome. I constantly allow fear from allowing me to progressing. Thanks for posting this, it is good to know that I am not the only one.

  3. Hey I am right there with you! (It must be a girl thing) :) I think my problems is that I THINK about the future too much, "How am I going to feel about this in an hour from now… 2 days from now, etc." This is especially true with shopping- haha. Good luck and that's a great verse! Here's to more decisiveness in the future! :)

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