Love, Marriage

The One with the Dating Definition

I received a lot of great feedback from the High School Dating advice I posted on Monday. Writing this post has left my mind in a whirlwind of thought–so much so that it’s difficult getting myself to focus on one narrow topic and expound on it. My heart, along with my mind, has been encouraged and challenged this week as I’ve been listening to God’s direction. I’m excited to see what might come of my recent realizations and increased passions. 
For now, I invite you to join me as I share practical advice to Real Girls’ Real Problems. I’m praying that God will use my words to change lives for His glory. With that in mind, I am calling these advice-centric posts PRACTICALLY SPEAKING. 
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On the topic of dating, I wanted to expound on the details and terminology used in my first post
What is my definition of dating? 
What if you do date? Can anything good come of it? 
Does the advice change with age?
1} Depending on who you ask, the term “dating can mean many different things. For some it’s a one time dinner and movie. For another it means you’re interested in a guy and you hang out a bit, go a few dances, but nothing more. For still others it means long-term commitment. 
When I use the D word, I’m referring to this scenario:
Boy likes girl. Girls likes boy. Boy asks girl if she’ll be his girlfriend. Girl says yes. The decision is made to be in an exclusive relationship that includes hanging out at each other’s homes, talking on the phone/texting, going out to dinner with a group of friends (or possibly just the two of you), assuming you will have a date for every dance that occurs while you’re dating, and the highly probable hand-holding, hugging, and goodnight kiss exchange. (More on THAT another time.)
My husband has often disagreed with me when I say, “I didn’t date in high school.” Why? Because we have different definitions of the world. He thinks that dating includes going to a dance with a guy. And if that’s the case, then I’m guilty as charged
Throughout my high school career, I attended around 10 school-sanctioned dances with a boy (a different one most times) who had asked me to be his date. Because the guy knew me well enough to know I wasn’t the dating type, he knew I wasn’t going to become his long-term girlfriend or require any commitment beyond the evening of the dance. One particular guy was going to take me to homecoming junior year before he found out I wasn’t about to become his girlfriend. He called it off. I was hurt at first, but now I’m so thankful even that one date didn’t happen.


Now that you know my definition of the term “dating” and how I’ll be using in the future, I wouldn’t mind hearing what you think of when you hear someone say they’re “dating.” It’s always entertaining to figure out what someone really means by that term, particularly when it’s a 6th grader (*cough cough* My husband was that kid. Yes, I tease him mercilessly about it. He still loves me for whatever reason.) 

Questions 2} and 3} will be addressed later this week! Stay tuned. 
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