Dear Child of Mine,
It is with a heavy heart I write to you this morning. I’d rather just forget all of this, refusing to acknowledge these circumstances. But I am convinced by the Spirit of God that even these dark days are part of my story. The tapestry of my life is being woven together, thread by thread, and today I am engrossed in this one tangly moment. I am quickly losing sight of the glorious masterpiece Father is creating. But I am reminded that “we simply and humbly offer all that we are to the One who offers us the option of becoming more than we are...For to bind our lives to Jesus Christ requires that we try to walk with him into the sorrows and suffering of the world.” (Rueben P. Job, Guide to Prayer, p. 136)
We can’t step back or forward far enough to see what Father is doing in this adoption. We want desperately to have some control, but as your Daddy said last night, “God, you got us into this. You’ve got to get us out.”
Your birth mother is second guessing all of her decisions and listening to inaccurate advice. She may also be doing things to put your life in danger. Before I knew any of that I felt led to write her a letter. I expressed the prayers and concerns so many are pouring out over her, recognizing the magnitude of this decision. I shared our story of infertility, our hearts’ desire to become parents. I described all of the ways we’ve been busy preparing to bring home this baby, trying to offer her comfort that her unborn child will be well cared for. And I offered to talk with her, to hear her own thoughts and desires.
Today at 11am she will be handed this letter. And we pray in earnest.
I commune with my heart in the night;
I meditate and search my spirit:
“Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
Has his steadfast love ceased forever?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?”
I will call to mind the deeds of the Lord;
I will remember your wonders of old.
I will meditate on all your work,
and muse on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who works wonders;
For he did not despise or abhor
the affliction of the afflicted;
he did not hide his face from me,
but heard when I cried to him.
All the ends of the earth shall remember
and turn to the Lord;
and all the families of the nations
shall worship before him.
future generations will be told about the Lord,
and proclaim his deliverance to a people yet unborn,
saying that he has done it.