Confessions, Letters to My Kids, Pregnancy


Dear Child of Mine,

I haven’t been inspired to write anything profound, so I’m just going to start writing. Here’s my stream of consciousness.

I’m eleven weeks pregnant today – you’re 11 weeks old! My pregnancy app tells me you’re about the size of a fig and almost completely formed. Now it’s just time to grow, grow, grow.

I felt like a new woman the first half of this week – super productive, cleaning and organizing the house, rearranging furniture. Ya know…all those things I truly love to do. (My mom says things move around just about every time she visits!)

I finally want to eat a decent variety of foods, including fruits and vegetables. I still start my morning with a slice of peanut butter toast, but I can do scrambled eggs again and I’m loving fruit. I still need all the burgers. Meat is where it’s at. I totally overdid the fried foods yesterday, though, and MAN ALIVE did I pay for it. I went to bed with terrible reflux, downed a couple generic Tums, and went to sleep. Two hours later I ran to the bathroom and woke up my husband with the sounds of my violent vomiting. (Mom, you know what I’m talking about…) I think this was really just the food I consumed and not some freaky flu or a midnight bout of morning sickness, but I still felt a little off today.

I haven’t napped as much as this week. A few cat naps here and there, but not needing the two long naps a day has been refreshing. Plus, my body’s been rising at 6am again rather than 7 which feels more normal to me.

Hubby has been wonderful, going on 3 mile walks with me almost every morning. LOVE.

He also has not commented on my thickening midsection or the fact that I mostly look like I’ve gained ten pounds, not that I’m growing a baby. I’m sure it helps to remind himself that I’m carrying his child (yay!) but even I’m hoping that the gain will even out now that my stomach and tastes have equilibrated. A new normal. It is frightening, though, when my “big” pants are too tight already. I feel like most women go months into their pregnancy before having this problem. Trying to remember every story is unique…

One of my favorite gifts to give is the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook. It’s been an incredible resource for my personal spiritual growth over the years. Kevin and I received this book as a gift from Dr. Brewer in 2007 as he was counseling us for marriage. I had set it aside a couple years ago, going through other Spiritual Formation books. But Monday I pulled it back out of the archives and started searching for what God had for me. I was quite surprised when I landed on the discipline of Celebration. I distinctly remember reading over those pages 8 years ago and thinking, “Who would need to practice celebrating? Who would struggle with that?

Enters from stage left: Melanie of 2015, newly pregnant and embarking on a totally unknown adventure.

And so, my week has been focused on practicing the discipline of celebration. For you are a tremendous gift, my Child. This week we got to hear your strong heartbeat at a doctor’s appointment. What a thrilling (and relieving) moment that was!

I will echo Mary’s Song from Luke 1:46-48

My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.


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