My sweet Kirsten,
Wow! What a joy it is to be your mother! Watching you grow and develop, experiencing the world’s sights and sounds through your perspective is so much fun. I am being transformed, daughter. Through mothering you, the Lord is opening my eyes to his grace in new ways. I am being tested, challenged…will I give mercy? Will I seek His grace? How will I respond when I’m frustrated and exhausted and everything seems to be going wrong? Will I take credit for the days that go smoothly…or will I find God’s gifts in those times?
I am thankful, sweet girl, that the Lord in his mercy waited to call me to motherhood. I am thankful because holysmokes I don’t think my spirit was ready for this crucible all those years ago. This is hard. Time is a bigger premium than I can describe. And I notice how selfish I still am. (How am I still so selfish?!) For all of the difficulties and pain and “opportunities for growth” that mothering you has allowed me, I am beyond thankful. Growth is sometimes painful. Crucibles don’t have comfortable connotations. But you are the most wonderful gift I could ever be given. You do give me countless opportunities to step deeper into my Christ-in-me identity. And you do bring more joy to life than I ever knew possible. (Have I mentioned how motherhood is a paradox?)
You are just over Seven Months Old and I am loving this stage. With every passing day and week, you become more independent, more funny, more personable, more loving. Your smile is truly contagious (as Gramma says). Your expressions are boundless.
I love the big personality you have. There’s no doubt that intensity and a flair for the dramatic are hard-wired into your being, and with that extreme comes possibilities for deep, Christ-like compassion and true, Spirit-led love for others. You are a leader in the making, Kirsten Grace. I see your strength of personality, your unique combination of traces of me and traces of your dad. We pray that you will root your life deeply into Jesus and use your very evident gifts of passion and fierce tenacity for the Kingdom of God.
You are a gem, my girl, beautiful and unique and priceless.
This month you’ve fallen in love with all sorts of new foods. You’re still loving butternut squash and sweet potato, and you’ve added apple, pear, avocado, banana, spinach, carrot, zucchini, mango, and chicken to the mix. The mesh feeder has been a fun and wonderful tool to introduce new foods. There were two pears on the counter that were super soft so I sliced them up and gave a piece to you in the feeder. After just a few minutes, you’d eaten both of those pears! You haven’t been too sure about banana, but a semi-frozen cube of banana in the mesh feeder was devoured. Carrot wasn’t high on your favorites, but in the mesh feeder, the puree was gone quickly! (Thanks, Amanda, for this great gift!)
You’ve been sitting like a big girl in your high chair to eat. We could have put you in the high chair months ago, I think, but there was something very grown-up about the idea of you in a high chair that made me hold off. But you were ready for it and now we are too. It’s so much fun watching you experience our favorite foods in raw, real form. I love feeding you things that I can take bites of because they’re foods I love too!
You’ve turned a corner this last month with Sunday mornings. I know how tiring and long Sundays are as a pastor, and I can imagine they feel even longer and more tiring when you don’t understand why you’re still at church and why can’t I just be with mommy and daddy? But this last month, you really seemed to start settling into this aspect of life as the pastors’ kid. Part of it is the time I’ve spent with you in the nursery during the week, nursing you and putting you down for a nap in the pack ‘n play. Being a mom and a pastor, I’ve continued to hone our church nursery into a place that is comfortable and clean, that provides for all the possible needs of babies and their parents. It’s a cool bonus gift from God, allowing me to step into a place of hospitality by way of motherhood.
Anyways, Sunday mornings has brought a decent number of before-church naps which aids your nursery-time tremendously. God has also brought a growing number of new families with new babies to our congregation so our nursery is a fun-filled place for you to be. You seem to be a people-person through and through. When you’re in their alone, you tend to fuss. When there’s lots of friends around, you’re happy as a lark.
You’ve started reaching for me, which I adore. If I’ve left you with daddy or a friend or family member for a while, you’ll have been peachy-keen-content for quite some time. But as soon as I walk into your line of site, you start fussing rather dramatically. I love that you love me so, and seem to have a crazy-desperate need to be with momma right now. But really, Child, you’re just fine. Take a deep breath. It’s all good.
As much FUN as it is watching you grow and become more whole YOU, it is a true privilege to call you ours. We love you, Kirsten Grace, and that is one thing that won’t ever change.
A few fun facts:
- you love water bottles, almost more than any other toy
- you started practicing with a sippy cup and you’re getting the hang of it
- you are now consistently able to get a pacifier back in your mouth
- you’re sitting up like an old pro
- your hand dexterity seems to be strong: you’ve been passing toys back and forth from hand to hand since before your six month appointment
- you have started mastering the grown-up, real-food poop. Holy cow. Poopy diapers have diminished from a few a day to about every 2 days. But wow, you are a CHAMP at poop. whew-whee.
- your bedtime is between 7:30 and 8 and you let us know. I still nurse you every night before bed.
- you sleep until 1 or 2am, nurse, then back to sleep until 5 or 6, nurse, then back to sleep until 7:30.
- you’re not really consistent on any sort of daytime naps.
- you love Tavie.
- you love watching screens.
- you flap your arms and bang on the table constantly; we think you might be our next cajon player on the worship team
- you have powerful vocal chords and a crazy high falsetto
- YOU FINALLY ROLLED OVER! A few times now we’ve found you on your tummy in your crib. Go, you!
- you like taking rides in the stroller or on my back when we go bike riding
- you are starting to play
- you bounce when you get really excited
- you fed yourself your own bottle for the first time