Confessions, Letters to My Kids, Pregnancy

The Struggle to Change

Dear Daughter of Mine,

I am learning that being unable to control the physical changes to my body is a considerable mental struggle to overcome. I had suspected that I would have trouble with the weight gain and the clothing size upgrades, but part of me hoped that I’d just be so in love with YOU I might ignore these points of contention.IMG_3858 2.0

I am here to admit that the Lord is certainly using my pregnancy as another means of sanding off my rough edges, my need for control and management of life.

I am here to tell you, Child, that you are a privilege. Carrying you is the greatest honor ever given to me, and I echo the words of Mary, mother of Jesus (Luke 1:38)

I am the Lord’s servant. Let it be to me according to your word.

To be the vessel that God would choose to bring your life into this world leaves me breathless. In all my flaws and rough edges, my imperfections, my need for redemption and forgiveness, God asked me to be your mother. He answered my lifelong prayer. And I am praying His anointing over you even now.

So as the days tick by and my middle expands and my wardrobe dwindles, I am committing to you, Daughter, to live in a place of gratefulness. I will seek God’s strength to embrace these changes and the uncertain future of my body and your birth and this whole mothering thing. I will live in the questions and not seek resolution. I will seek Christ alone. May He remind me of my worth, my calling. May the lessons I learn in these weeks be a beautiful start to a new outlook on my physical being and usher in an attitude of health and wholeness which you will observe and embrace.

I love you, Little One.

Mama

 

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7 thoughts on “The Struggle to Change

  1. Jaime (Cade) Hall says:

    you look great Mel! I had a hard time with this when nothing fit anymore. Shopping for maternity clothes was actually really great – try the gap maternity! Find a day they are having sales, you can get some great deals! I threw a temper tantrum when nothing I owned fit….may have a permanent scar from fighting with my hangers 😑 anyways – it is ok to struggle with feeling unsure about the changes – it’s a huge change and changing constantly. Don’t hesitate to pamper yourself with massages or pedicure or ice cream or new maternity clothes!! Your making a little life inside you and your doing great!!!

  2. Pingback: The Glory Days | Kevin & Melanie

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